? The talent is in the choice.

Several people have asked me to expand on what I mean by “the talent is in the choices”.  In essence it is about the ability to see the options available and by choosing the very best option and acting upon it to gain the best of any given situation.

Furthermore by utilising, or not, ones ability to create opportunities where few exist is also a talent and a choice.  We can expand our options and have more to choose from.  The tendency is to look for the obvious and follow our usual path.  Thats fine if your choices have mostly proved to improve your experience of life.  In many ways one could say that if this is the case, you have a talent for choosing the best of what is available.

In so many ways, the talent in choosing well is a gift.  The ability to see things in the most relevant way and in the most accurate reality is wonderful.  Having perceptual agility further enhances this talent.  There is a danger that having too much choice can paralyse some people. (see last weeks blog on being bullied by opportunities).

Much improvement can be made by taking a few moments to evaluate the situation and explore what information is available.  Then seek to explore what information is needed or would help having in order to make an informed decision.  Remember, not making a decision is a choice.

For some it is difficult on the basis that they struggle to take responsibility for the choices they make and take. There is a fear that they are going to get it wrong and consequently mostly do.  There is also the possibly that decisions based on others expectations.  In other words, we have an expectation that those close to us expect us to make decisions in certain ways.  So the decision is based on what is expected.  No talent required here.

Some people may even hand over their choices for another to make. It seems to me that for them the worry of getting it right for themselves far out weighs the privilege and the freedom to choose for ones self. How many times have you heard someone say “what do you think I should have, wear, say, do, get, give, buy ?” The fear of getting it wrong is strong.

Some people, and I think I would include myself to a large extent, just go out there and do it as best they can.  Slowly and with time you get better at it.  Eventually you get good at it. On the journey, you learn to make decisions by evaluating situations, you pick up tools such as the Edward de Bono Six Hats thinking methodology. You may go on to learn that selfishly constructed decisions are better than selfless decisions  (if such a thing exists).

It makes sense to stop and review what the basis for your decisions are based on.  Ponder who the principle benefactor is in your decision making process. I believe that if you wish to help yourself develop a talent for choosing the best from what is available, start making decisions where the benefactor is clearly identified and based by which a decisions is make. In other words, is it an ‘away from fear’ decision or ‘towards pleasure’.

There is more on this subject in Change Directions available from Amazon.com.

It is worth while just remembering a little Shakespeare here.

Hamlet:
… for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

You can choose to perceive constructive selfishness as a bad thing or not. The talent is the choice.